Moving on Toward Happiness

"Maybe it's time to move on," Tanya thought to herself.  Although she knew she loved Jim, she also knew that more often than not she felt completely and absolutely drained by the relationship.

"Perhaps it would be easier if we could be together," she thought.  She understood the warnings that people had given about the hardship of maintaining a long distance relationship.  All they could do was talk on the phone; no date nights, no sitting in front of the TV, no kisses or hugs.  Just words.  It seemed that lately Jim overanalyzed every sentence she spoke.  Her words were taken out of context and used against her.  Tanya felt that either Jim didn't love her or that he loved her too much, in some weird possessive way that made her uncomfortable.  

Sure, she went out with friends and, sure, some were men. But they travelled in groups and everything was completely innocent.  She had no interest in other men, no interest in flirting or pursuing any romantic relationship.  All of her friendships were completely platonic, so why didn't Jim trust her?  

She understood some of his reasoning, of course. She had lied to him once but that was long ago, and she was only telling him what he wanted, or needed to hear. She didn't mean to betray his trust.  Rather, she was trying to protect his feelings.  And, in a way, trying to protect herself. Tanya knew that she was wrong, but it hadn't seemed like that big a deal at the time. Apparently it was, at least to Jim.

And now, because they weren't together physically, she had no way to prove that she was being truthful.  He doubted everything--every friendship she told him about, every outing she enjoyed without him.  What was she supposed to do--sit alone in front of the TV every night?

For a few days Tanya had even considered giving up her career and relocating just to be with him.  She believed that being together would solve everything.  

"We love each other; surely we can fix these problems," they both believed. But that was several weeks and countless arguments ago. Tanya no longer believed that now.  

"Will tonight's call turn into another shouting match?"  she wondered.  "Will he yell at me again about what a liar I am?  I don 't want to hear those ugly names he calls me.  Maybe I just won't answer the phone."  

And yet, she still held on to the dream of love that they once shared.  So when the phone rang, Tanya answered out of curiosity, hoping that maybe this time would be different.  Accepting the call, her confidence deflated as Jim spoke.  Nothing had changed for him.  It was clear to Tanya:  she could not continue; it was time for both of them to find some peace in moving on.

Tanya decided then and there.  She blocked his emails and subscribed to caller I.D., enabling her to ignore his attempts at communication.  She loved Jim and always would. She had grown in this relationship and she hoped to remember the good times they shared.  But right now Tanya needed to take care of herself.  Moving on was the only way for her to renew her sense of worth.  Her happiness depended on it.

Kathryn's Joy

Misunderstood. That's how Kathryn feels much of the time. And this day was no different. In her excitement at seeing them, Kathryn ran cirlces around her friends. Whooping and holllering, she alternated: first running, then hopping--calling out names as she did so.

"Logan! Isabelle! Emma!" The names became mantras of Kathryn's joy! The other children may have wondered what she was up to, but they didn't show it. They stood there, reveling in the attention that Kathryn poured out upon them. And then, as often happens when children come together, their own happiness overflowed. They all began running in circles, laughing and shouting out each other's names and the names of those yet to arrive. Round and round they all ran as if chasing each other in endless pursuit.

Their mothers became unglued. They didn't know what to make of all of the uncontrolled energy--crackling like electricity in the air surrounding them. Something had to be done.

"These kids are out of control!" exclaimed Mrs. McPheerful.

"Yes! We need to do something!" agreed Mrs. Power.

"Kathryn started it! She always gets the others all riled up!" said the judge's wife. "Make her behave!" she demanded of Kathryn's mother.

"Yes! She's always the instigator. She should be punished!" Mrs. Law proclaimed.

Aware and attentive in spite of her activity, Kathryn overheard the conversation. She didn't understand.

"Am I doing something wrong?" she wondered. "I'm just being happy It's fun to run and play! Why do they think I'm bad?"

Puzzled, she stopped running and looked at her mother, hoping for answers. In her wisdom, her mother smiled at Kathryn and winked.

"Kathryn's just being Kathryn," she told others. "She's excited to see her friends. And, what better place to run in circles than out here on the lawn?"

Reassured of her goodness, Kathryn smiled back, scrunching her face into a crooked wink of her own. Then she began to run again, singing this time around.

Her mother relaxed.

"Look how happy Kathryn is today," she thought to herself. "The pure innocence of childhood is so fleeting. Why squelch it? We should all be rejoicing in the beauty of this fall day."

Like Kathryn, she was a leader in her own right. With wisdom and composure, Kathryn's mom stepped up and stood her ground, advocating on Kathryn's behalf. By not bowing to the pressure of her peers, she learned something about being a mother. Gazing at her daughter, her heart was filled.

"Love is unconditional," she reminded herself.

For their part, the other mothers, too, began to relax and enjoy the moment. Laughing at the their children's antics, they remembered something of what it was like to be a child. And they understood. It wasn't that Kathryn was misbaving. None of them were. Kathryn knew that life was to be celebrated. She was full of joy and her running helped to spread it throughout the group. When it settled upon them, they caught it, too. Joy is contagious.